Drinking Accessories

Tip #30: Penis Straws

Mar 31 2011 07:59 AM

Okay, okay, you don’t have to say it. I know that I’m supposed to be talking about veils right now, but I hope none of you will mind terribly if I take a little detour from my planned route. I think you can wait another week for those penis veils! I just came across this website earlier today and I wanted to post about it before I forgot about it, and I know I would have if I had waited. So what website is so important that I couldn’t wait or risk forgetting about it? www.penisdrinkingstraws.com.

Just think about that. It’s an entire website dedicated to penis-shaped drinking straws. An entire website. Isn’t that crazy? Well, when I stumbled across it I knew I just had to check it out and see if it was for real (it is!) and then I thought it would make a great blog post. So that’s why I’m posting about it now instead of more veils. I don’t really know what I wanted to post about it – maybe just how crazy it is that there’s an entire site. But it does bring up a good point, that penis-shaped straws are an excellent addition to a bachelorette party. They might not be vital, but if you’re going to be drinking (especially if you’re drinking some of those bachelorette party-themed drinks I posted about a long time ago) then I can’t think of anything better to drink with! And this website shows a great selection of straws, and even groups them into categories: flesh color, multi color, giant, and glow-in-the-dark. (It even has some penis-shaped waterbottles, too.) I had never seen any glow-in-the-dark penis straws before, so I checked that out – here’s a picture from that section of the website.


Isn’t that awesome? It’s amazing what we can do with modern penis-straw technology! By the way, here’s the place on the website where you can find the glow-in-the-dark straws if you think they’re as cool as I do! I think those were my favorite straws on the entire site. And I still can’t believe that there is an entire site all about penis straws!

Sorry again to everybody who was expecting some penis veils today – I promise I’ll post about them next week!


Tip #3: Drinking Games

Aug 10 2010 01:26 PM

Last time I posted about good drinks to make for a bachelorette party. But what fun would drinks be without drinking games? You’ve probably all played some sort of drinking game at some point in your lives. I played plenty back when I was in college. And while any of those same old games like beer pong or quarters will work, the best drinking games to play at a bachelorette party are the ones that were designed specifically for bachelorette parties. A lot of the best drinking games I’ve played have involved going out to the bar or somewhere similar, so if that’s what you’re planning on doing, these will work great for you.

Game #1: The magic name game. Before going out to the bar, decide on a fairly common guy’s name. This is the magic name for the night. When you get there, the goal is to get as many signatures from a guy with that name as you can. If you manage to get one, everyone else has to take a drink. At the end of the night, the girl who got the most signatures is the winner.

Game #2: The phone number game. This one’s pretty simple. Whenever you get a guy’s phone number, everyone else has to take a drink. At the end of the night, the girl who got the most numbers is the winner.

Game #3: The “proud of my penis” game. Have someone bring the silliest and weirdest penis-shaped item they can find to the party. If nobody has anything that fits the bill, you should get something crazy like a dick through the head headband or giant inflatable penis. A dildo or vibrator will work too. Now, when you go out to the bar, everybody’s going to try to convince as many guys as they can to hold or wear the penis-shaped object. If you get a picture of a man with the penis, everyone else has to drink. At the end of the night, the girl with the most pictures is the winner. There could be a special prize for the girl with the craziest individual picture, too.

Game #4: The loose lips game. This is one you can play at home, or at the bar, or pretty much anywhere. At the beginning of the night, make a list of five or ten words. It works best if they’re words related to the theme of the party, like “bride”, “groom”, marriage”, you get the drift. Whenever someone says one of the words on the list, they have to drink. Warning: Don’t do this with shots! Girls will be drinking a LOT with this game!

All of these games are relatively simple, but they’re loads of fun and I’ll vouch for every one of them. There’s a lot of room to work in house rules if you can think of variations that would make them even more fun, but keep it simple. The best drinking games usually are pretty simple, after all, it’s hard to remember a lot of complicated rules when everyone’s a little ways past tipsy.

Another suggestion, give the winner of each game you play a prize. Not that they’ll need any extra incentive to play a drinking game, but it’s something to remember the night by. Something like these award ribbons or a pecker whistle works great.

See you next time,


Tip #2: Drinks

Jul 28 2010 01:34 PM

As promised, today I’m going to talk a little about good drinks to serve at bachelorette parties. Now, I hope you won’t think I’m copping out, but right off the bat I want to tell you about the website I found that helped me learn about good drinks for parties: www.bachelorettepartydrinks.com. I’ve got plenty of experience now, but back when I wasn’t such a veteran I was clueless about drinks. It wasn’t the thing that took me the longest to figure out, but it definitely wasn’t the thing that took me the shortest, either.

As you can see, the site divides drinks up into five levels. The only thing that sets the levels apart is the number of ingredients you need to make the drinks for each one. There’s great drinks on every level, and none of them are hard to make. But if you don’t want to spend too much money on different types of alcohol and mixers, you probably want to stick to the lower levels. If you’ve already got a full bar stocked, by all means, go ahead and try everything. There are very few drinks on the site I wouldn’t recommend. Anyways, here are some of my personal favorites from the lower levels that I think you should definitely try out at your party:

Beach Bum

1 part orange juice

1 part Bacardi

1 part Sprite

Pour into a glass with ice and stir.

Hawaiian Screw

1 part Vodka

1 part orange juice

1 part pineapple juice

Pour into a glass with ice.

Lemon Shooters

Cover a lemon slice with sugar, take a shot of vodka, then suck on the lemon.


1 part Vodka

1 part Triple Sec

1 part sweetened lime juice

Can be served as a shot or on the rocks.

Killer Mudslide

1 part Vodka

1 part Kahlua

1 part Bailey’s Irish cream

Serve in a tall glass over a scoop of chocolate ice cream.

But my favorite has got to be making Jello Shots. These are absolutely great for a bachelorette party. But if you’re going to make them, don’t make too many, especially if the guests have never had them before. They’re so easy to eat that people think there can’t be much alcohol, if any, in them, when really there’s about a shot’s worth. Everyone will want to eat several, but you don’t want them to eat too many or they could easily end up drinking too much. For instructions on how to make jello shots, check out this page.

And if you’re going to make jello shots for a bachelorette party, I recommend you use penis-shaped molds. There’ll undoubtedly be plenty of other penis-shaped things at your party, and if the jello can match them, that’s great. If you’re hosting a party free of penises, any jello mold will work.

That’s all for now. If you want any more drink ideas, let me know, and I’ll post some more. But this should be more than enough to throw a great party.
See you next time,